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CHRISTABEL YAP
Nineteen. Currently residing in the Singapore. I enjoy jpop and anime. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but I'm a lot of fun.
@flavors.me
A little love I had for you remains. Whatever it meant to be disappeared,
should just go away. And now, all I wanted is actually his little attention to me.
Just a small little attention will do, show me that i am important to you.
just another day / too young to realise / belated birthday post + outing / happy birthday to the boy / outing with mum / outing / second last day / ..... / workkkk! / cny - day one /
July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 June 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 September 2012 October 2012 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 October 2013
outing with mum / Saturday, February 23, 2013 @ 10:29 PM
yay! went out to pray in the mid morning and went to bugis to shopping. heart to heart talk with my mummy after a long while and i realized how much a mother could have noticed her daughter. she knew that i was having a slight crush on him and she even guessed who was it! oh gosh, what a mum is she. but she's funny that knewing i have lots of guy friends, she said, so even if anyone of them become your boyfriend i also won't know who. i was like LOL.
I told her, friendzoned means friendzoned. I won't force it open neither will i force them to think the same way as I do.
after so much things happening recently, i realised that what meant to be is to be. if you do not think the same way as i do, i feel that there is no point of forcing my feelings onto you. it will just make things really awkward between us.
i wish you all the best in everything. i wish you find a girl of your life, and get what you want. i really enjoyed my times with you, and i will not forget them. i decided not to tell you any of these and move on with life.
this may just be a passing thing in my life once again. I won't want to walk down the same path as i did previously and ended up just regretting it again.
i am happy with all my close friends being there for me. i am happy that i have so many friends with me. i am satisfied with my life right now, even if i could not be with you.
i give up, yes. I truly give up. no more hopes hanging, no more painful experiences ever again.
/adieus!
this time, with a happy and enlightened feeling i have.
yay! went out to pray in the mid morning and went to bugis to shopping. heart to heart talk with my mummy after a long while and i realized how much a mother could have noticed her daughter. she knew that i was having a slight crush on him and she even guessed who was it! oh gosh, what a mum is she. but she's funny that knewing i have lots of guy friends, she said, so even if anyone of them become your boyfriend i also won't know who. i was like LOL.
I told her, friendzoned means friendzoned. I won't force it open neither will i force them to think the same way as I do.
after so much things happening recently, i realised that what meant to be is to be. if you do not think the same way as i do, i feel that there is no point of forcing my feelings onto you. it will just make things really awkward between us.
i wish you all the best in everything. i wish you find a girl of your life, and get what you want. i really enjoyed my times with you, and i will not forget them. i decided not to tell you any of these and move on with life.
this may just be a passing thing in my life once again. I won't want to walk down the same path as i did previously and ended up just regretting it again.
i am happy with all my close friends being there for me. i am happy that i have so many friends with me. i am satisfied with my life right now, even if i could not be with you.
i give up, yes. I truly give up. no more hopes hanging, no more painful experiences ever again.
/adieus!
this time, with a happy and enlightened feeling i have.
outing / Friday, February 22, 2013 @ 11:24 PM
hmmm. so my first day of holiday is officially today since other days were all at work. really enjoyed my entire day out today.
woke up in the morning to do housework and all, before slowly getting ready to leave the house to meet my friend for a mini day out for his early birthday celebration. he came around 4pm odd and then went to watch 'upside down' which to my dismay isn't that fantastic but still quite fantastic. i think they concentrated too much on the overview of the whole show till they neglected the storyline.
so after that, we ate at hongkong cafe which was not bad since it's been awhile since i last ate there, and yup, walked around and went home.
hmmmm... going out isn't much so enjoyable since i will be spending money. i need to start saving moneh since i am going to be bankrupt soon, literally.
i hope i am more braver, getting more courage. i am giving myself hope that it is true but it looks like i am just thinking the wrong way.
i am not going to fool myself anymore. nothing more anymore, this is it. it's the end and byebye.
i wish you all the best. i don't want another heartbreak anymore.
it hurts so much. \
/adieus!
hmmm. so my first day of holiday is officially today since other days were all at work. really enjoyed my entire day out today.
woke up in the morning to do housework and all, before slowly getting ready to leave the house to meet my friend for a mini day out for his early birthday celebration. he came around 4pm odd and then went to watch 'upside down' which to my dismay isn't that fantastic but still quite fantastic. i think they concentrated too much on the overview of the whole show till they neglected the storyline.
so after that, we ate at hongkong cafe which was not bad since it's been awhile since i last ate there, and yup, walked around and went home.
hmmmm... going out isn't much so enjoyable since i will be spending money. i need to start saving moneh since i am going to be bankrupt soon, literally.
i hope i am more braver, getting more courage. i am giving myself hope that it is true but it looks like i am just thinking the wrong way.
i am not going to fool myself anymore. nothing more anymore, this is it. it's the end and byebye.
i wish you all the best. i don't want another heartbreak anymore.
it hurts so much. \
/adieus!
second last day / Tuesday, February 19, 2013 @ 11:34 PM
second last day of work and so many things happened.
firstly, there isn't any customers at all. it's practically empty. was so bored and almost fall asleep at work. and then, after that, coincidentally, i saw someone i knew back from my work and then he was there with his girlfriend. i used to be close with him, but ever since two years ago, he hardly contact me. oh well, and then... yeap.
i felt such disappointment in me when he didn't contact me back. it felt like the few days that i got to know him from work just became part of my memories and it won't become a future of mine. i hate that kind of feelings. i hate partings, and i hate most are people who i thought were important to me drifted away from my life.
but then again, seeing him and his girlfriend makes me feel so happy for him. like awwwww, there he goes, that kind of feeling yea?
but since it's his decision to not contact me, and forget it, i won't either. if you doesn't want to make an effort to contact, why must I?
friday is something exciting to look forward to because it's this particular friend of mine birthday early celebration. hahaha, finally becoming 21 and i am actually looking forward more to my movie.
/adieus
shall rest up tomorrow for the whole day. i lack of sleep and rest x__x
second last day of work and so many things happened.
firstly, there isn't any customers at all. it's practically empty. was so bored and almost fall asleep at work. and then, after that, coincidentally, i saw someone i knew back from my work and then he was there with his girlfriend. i used to be close with him, but ever since two years ago, he hardly contact me. oh well, and then... yeap.
i felt such disappointment in me when he didn't contact me back. it felt like the few days that i got to know him from work just became part of my memories and it won't become a future of mine. i hate that kind of feelings. i hate partings, and i hate most are people who i thought were important to me drifted away from my life.
but then again, seeing him and his girlfriend makes me feel so happy for him. like awwwww, there he goes, that kind of feeling yea?
but since it's his decision to not contact me, and forget it, i won't either. if you doesn't want to make an effort to contact, why must I?
friday is something exciting to look forward to because it's this particular friend of mine birthday early celebration. hahaha, finally becoming 21 and i am actually looking forward more to my movie.
/adieus
shall rest up tomorrow for the whole day. i lack of sleep and rest x__x
..... / Monday, February 18, 2013 @ 1:06 AM
after crying to sleep last night, i realise how foolish i was. i don't know why i am doing this, but i came down to one answer.
anyway, it was the second day of work today and it was fun. colleagues managed to keep me laughing and i didn't have any time to think of worthless thing. my mood of anime is slightly back since i am watching anime right now during my breaks.
off day tomorrow so i get to go out with my lovely girlfriend that i have not seen for awhile. shall take polaroids with her tomorrow :)
anyway... just finished watching miracle train and it's very nice. one of the episodes was actually about this girl that died and was actually kind of 'troubled' and ended up on miracle train.... she managed to saw the boyfriend for the very last time, and the boyfriend cried as she kiss him and disappeared into thin air.
i cried. seeing my crying face through the computer screen, i cried even more. i don't know why did i cry, but i just felt so sad.
it hurts so much.
i wonder why
after crying to sleep last night, i realise how foolish i was. i don't know why i am doing this, but i came down to one answer.
anyway, it was the second day of work today and it was fun. colleagues managed to keep me laughing and i didn't have any time to think of worthless thing. my mood of anime is slightly back since i am watching anime right now during my breaks.
off day tomorrow so i get to go out with my lovely girlfriend that i have not seen for awhile. shall take polaroids with her tomorrow :)
anyway... just finished watching miracle train and it's very nice. one of the episodes was actually about this girl that died and was actually kind of 'troubled' and ended up on miracle train.... she managed to saw the boyfriend for the very last time, and the boyfriend cried as she kiss him and disappeared into thin air.
i cried. seeing my crying face through the computer screen, i cried even more. i don't know why did i cry, but i just felt so sad.
it hurts so much.
i wonder why
workkkk! / Friday, February 15, 2013 @ 10:20 PM
hello to the world.
hello to the world.
back to blogging. my second year in polytechnic finally ended on thursday, and went to school for some PPP graduating programme for the year twos. honestly, it was exceptionally fun listening to the lecturer's life story.
work tomorrow at liang court, and am glad that halizam is the head there. means it's gonna be fun. did a cover on linda's song, and honestly, being wanting to do it for the longest time.
link is here: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10151318644287568¬if_t=video_processed
listen at your own risk, and i wouldn't mind comments to improve, but please no rude comments, i don't entertain them
i am going to give up. give up everything before it get worst. two months ago i starting to have a slight crush on you and back then i didn't bothered. only knowing that i wasn't ready to start crushing on someone, i started to hold back my feelings, and from there, i went into a denial state. two months later, and here i am, the feelings started to surface back again. it hurts so much knowing you didn't care about it. i don't intend to let you know, is so that we could be friends. we could stay the way we are right now without anything changing. i don't want to lose our friendship, the way we are now, and everything is fine.
it's fine. i am going to give up, and take it like nothing will happen. it's been two months. i hope it will work. two months isn't long, neither it is short. i can move on.... i hope i can.
/adieus!
cny - day one / Sunday, February 10, 2013 @ 5:39 PM
aleluha.
learned mahjong last night and i can't deny that it was really fun. but sort of tired recently, for i dont know why either. maybe the thought of the project is haunting my mind and adding on, it's chinese new year so i don't really bother about it at all.
but on another side, i am happy that my project and nightmare is ending in three to four days time :)
chinese new year day one was alright. got woke up by the lion dance in the morning, and after that went back to sleep till 11-ish in the morning. left the house at around one plus in the afternoon to visit both side of grandparents. my mother's mother was so cute and all, i was wishing her a happy new year, with a healthy life and may she stay happy all the way, she said i was such a sweet girl. I was like, shy only and keep laughing. i don't know why this year i went on to say so many like... more words. I usually just say one or two, this year i just felt like wishing them more.
maybe it kind of aches me after what happened to my grandpa last year and i am kind of worried, so i hope by wishing them, it really came true and may god bless them.
anyway, got home around 4 plus, and i am now waiting for reunion dinner. my eyes are like so heavy and having a headache. maybe it's because i have not eaten anything since morning.
i wish that i didn't realize my feelings and then just continued been oblivion. it hurts for me to realize my feelings for you and i can't do anything about it at all. i have no confidence in myself, and it aches me so much to the point that i keep on dreaming about you.
maybe i should give up. you're not worth for it, i am not worthy for you
adieus!
mahjong tonight again.
aleluha.
learned mahjong last night and i can't deny that it was really fun. but sort of tired recently, for i dont know why either. maybe the thought of the project is haunting my mind and adding on, it's chinese new year so i don't really bother about it at all.
but on another side, i am happy that my project and nightmare is ending in three to four days time :)
chinese new year day one was alright. got woke up by the lion dance in the morning, and after that went back to sleep till 11-ish in the morning. left the house at around one plus in the afternoon to visit both side of grandparents. my mother's mother was so cute and all, i was wishing her a happy new year, with a healthy life and may she stay happy all the way, she said i was such a sweet girl. I was like, shy only and keep laughing. i don't know why this year i went on to say so many like... more words. I usually just say one or two, this year i just felt like wishing them more.
maybe it kind of aches me after what happened to my grandpa last year and i am kind of worried, so i hope by wishing them, it really came true and may god bless them.
anyway, got home around 4 plus, and i am now waiting for reunion dinner. my eyes are like so heavy and having a headache. maybe it's because i have not eaten anything since morning.
i wish that i didn't realize my feelings and then just continued been oblivion. it hurts for me to realize my feelings for you and i can't do anything about it at all. i have no confidence in myself, and it aches me so much to the point that i keep on dreaming about you.
maybe i should give up. you're not worth for it, i am not worthy for you
adieus!
mahjong tonight again.
overwhelmed / Wednesday, February 6, 2013 @ 8:53 PM
so many things happened after the new year has approached. nothing good to be true, and i made some new friends online. hongwen as usual have been contacting me, and raiyan aka spare boyf too. i swear they are like one of my few best buddies/brothers.
spare boyf was been sweet today by coming down all the way from bedok to punggol just to meet for for a short while, even though he is on mc. (thank you spare boyf) -i can still remember that day when we came out with this nickname of his. HAHAH, what laughter. asking opinions on whether i should buy this watch from gmarket because i fall in love with it.
i have been loving red recently, for i dont know what reason either.
once again, you messaged me and then the feelings from before that was locked flowed back. I didn't want them to, but i am scared that i might. i am happy when you messaged me to be honest and i replied immediately.
anyway, it's the two months holiday approaching and i am going to work once again! hope to meet new friends there like the previous events too. :)
/adieus for now
so many things happened after the new year has approached. nothing good to be true, and i made some new friends online. hongwen as usual have been contacting me, and raiyan aka spare boyf too. i swear they are like one of my few best buddies/brothers.
spare boyf was been sweet today by coming down all the way from bedok to punggol just to meet for for a short while, even though he is on mc. (thank you spare boyf) -i can still remember that day when we came out with this nickname of his. HAHAH, what laughter. asking opinions on whether i should buy this watch from gmarket because i fall in love with it.
i have been loving red recently, for i dont know what reason either.
once again, you messaged me and then the feelings from before that was locked flowed back. I didn't want them to, but i am scared that i might. i am happy when you messaged me to be honest and i replied immediately.
anyway, it's the two months holiday approaching and i am going to work once again! hope to meet new friends there like the previous events too. :)
/adieus for now
