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CHRISTABEL YAP
Nineteen. Currently residing in the Singapore. I enjoy jpop and anime. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but I'm a lot of fun.
@flavors.me
A little love I had for you remains. Whatever it meant to be disappeared,
should just go away. And now, all I wanted is actually his little attention to me.
Just a small little attention will do, show me that i am important to you.
just another day / too young to realise / belated birthday post + outing / happy birthday to the boy / outing with mum / outing / second last day / ..... / workkkk! / cny - day one /
July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 June 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 September 2012 October 2012 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 October 2013
for those who knows, / Friday, July 29, 2011 @ 12:12 PM
FOR THOSE WHO KNOWS,
I can't lie to myself anymore. It's hurting inside. Rather than keep denying the fact, i'll just say it here.
I LOVE YOU.
I still love you after so long. Between these periods, there are times i like other people, but it's no use. I still love you. Last night, I decided to wear the ring that you gave me around my neck. I told you before the meaning right?
I suddenly got the urge to rush back to you, rush into your embrace, say to you that "I still love you,"
I wonder if you still love me.
I dreamt of you last night, I remembered your touch, your smile, your hugs, your everything.
Remember I said I'll wait for you? I am still waiting.
FOR THOSE WHO KNOWS,
I can't lie to myself anymore. It's hurting inside. Rather than keep denying the fact, i'll just say it here.
I LOVE YOU.
I still love you after so long. Between these periods, there are times i like other people, but it's no use. I still love you. Last night, I decided to wear the ring that you gave me around my neck. I told you before the meaning right?
I suddenly got the urge to rush back to you, rush into your embrace, say to you that "I still love you,"
I wonder if you still love me.
I dreamt of you last night, I remembered your touch, your smile, your hugs, your everything.
Remember I said I'll wait for you? I am still waiting.
i'm just frustrated. / Tuesday, July 26, 2011 @ 8:02 AM
It's not my personality to type things out onto the net(because i don't like the fact that people think that I am gaining pitiness)
So, this happened in about one month ago? I thought he was the one that could make me really stay devoted into a relationship. I thought all awhile, the problem was with me. I tried to be with a person, i failed. And then, he came, and i thought he was the one that could really make me... fall in love.
Maybe it was wrong after all. I wasn't that crazy. No, I mean, I was crazy. Why did i even tried so hard to make myself to have someone with me? I wasn't desperate, I just needed that someone to be by my side because it's not one that friends could fufil (or so i think at that time)
Really, I thought that you could change my whole life. I thought that he was the one, so i tried. I did say i was tired of breaking up. He was the first one that made me so determined to start with a person that i barely know a few days. I admit, i was rash. I didn't heed my friend's advice. Why didn't I, because I was jealous that all my friends had that someone beside them.
When I slowly got with you, I know that you're the someone that is very good, nice, kind and everything that I could seek for. I know you was the one. But yet, i couldn't go against my ownself. WHY CAN'T YOU FREAKING GET IT. I know you're hurt, but you're not as hurt as me. There are things you still don't know about me. YOU DON'T know how much I went through in my life. I'm not seeking for anyone perfect.
i am not a bitch..
stop insulting me like i'm in the wrong. In a relationship, there's no right or wrong alright?
Why? The most hurtful thing was you had the cheeks to drag in my friend, mention his name onto facebook, and even openly scolded me and him. You thought that we were steads, do you even know the fact. NO. Do you remember the nine years friend I talking about.
IT'S HIM.
I felt guilty towards you and always check your facebook status to ensure you're okay. I was doing the same routine yesterday when I saw your updates. I was angry- not because you're saying about me. Because you're saying about my friend. MY BEST FRIEND when you ASSUME that he's my stead.
Why? Why are all guys wrongly accusing me? I hate it when someone says that I am the one that deserved this. They don't know what I'm thinking. Why am i not telling anybody about it? It's just not my style, so don't ask.
Since young, I have lived through life with handling with myself. I know that I should be independent.
It even hurts me more that you're calling me a bitch when you don't know anything. The fact that I broke up with you was because it's not working out. Why are you insisting to get me back when I don't even want to? Who says that after a relationship, we can't act like nothing is happening? Why are you intruding my life when I'm already so pissed up with life? Why are you intruding into how I HANDLE things when you're not me?
YOU'RE NOT ME, DON'T DECIDE HOW I LIVE MY LIFE.
You're so pathetic. I don't know if i should be angry or sad towards you. Trust me, don't push my limits. If you don't know, try me.
I WILL NOT want to go to the last resort.
It's not my personality to type things out onto the net(because i don't like the fact that people think that I am gaining pitiness)
So, this happened in about one month ago? I thought he was the one that could make me really stay devoted into a relationship. I thought all awhile, the problem was with me. I tried to be with a person, i failed. And then, he came, and i thought he was the one that could really make me... fall in love.
Maybe it was wrong after all. I wasn't that crazy. No, I mean, I was crazy. Why did i even tried so hard to make myself to have someone with me? I wasn't desperate, I just needed that someone to be by my side because it's not one that friends could fufil (or so i think at that time)
Really, I thought that you could change my whole life. I thought that he was the one, so i tried. I did say i was tired of breaking up. He was the first one that made me so determined to start with a person that i barely know a few days. I admit, i was rash. I didn't heed my friend's advice. Why didn't I, because I was jealous that all my friends had that someone beside them.
When I slowly got with you, I know that you're the someone that is very good, nice, kind and everything that I could seek for. I know you was the one. But yet, i couldn't go against my ownself. WHY CAN'T YOU FREAKING GET IT. I know you're hurt, but you're not as hurt as me. There are things you still don't know about me. YOU DON'T know how much I went through in my life. I'm not seeking for anyone perfect.
i am not a bitch..
stop insulting me like i'm in the wrong. In a relationship, there's no right or wrong alright?
Why? The most hurtful thing was you had the cheeks to drag in my friend, mention his name onto facebook, and even openly scolded me and him. You thought that we were steads, do you even know the fact. NO. Do you remember the nine years friend I talking about.
IT'S HIM.
I felt guilty towards you and always check your facebook status to ensure you're okay. I was doing the same routine yesterday when I saw your updates. I was angry- not because you're saying about me. Because you're saying about my friend. MY BEST FRIEND when you ASSUME that he's my stead.
Why? Why are all guys wrongly accusing me? I hate it when someone says that I am the one that deserved this. They don't know what I'm thinking. Why am i not telling anybody about it? It's just not my style, so don't ask.
Since young, I have lived through life with handling with myself. I know that I should be independent.
It even hurts me more that you're calling me a bitch when you don't know anything. The fact that I broke up with you was because it's not working out. Why are you insisting to get me back when I don't even want to? Who says that after a relationship, we can't act like nothing is happening? Why are you intruding my life when I'm already so pissed up with life? Why are you intruding into how I HANDLE things when you're not me?
YOU'RE NOT ME, DON'T DECIDE HOW I LIVE MY LIFE.
You're so pathetic. I don't know if i should be angry or sad towards you. Trust me, don't push my limits. If you don't know, try me.
I WILL NOT want to go to the last resort.
i don't matter / Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 9:08 PM
YOU DON'T EVEN CARE
you didn't even bother to ask what was the reason behind it and there you are go blaming onto me. right, it's my fault for not putting on retainer, BUT FUCK, must you fucking compare me with her again?! Why is it always her?! what the fuck is with her got to do with this?!
how do you fucking know that she wears her retainers all the time. Wait, do you even know she fucking hates you at times?
the hell, i am so pissed off. I can't think rationally now, so i'm going to pour out everything. it's always been like this. when everything falls apart, the one you blame is me. You never blame her, and it's ALWAYS ME.
I don't get it. Am i such a disappointment to you to the extent of thinking that the bad ones are always on me? I can't stand it the fact that you're always this. You said you're fair, why the hell do you think it's fair? HOW FAIR CAN YOU GET TO?
You're someone close to me, in fact, you gave birth to me. I can't say anything since you're always saying you're right. I can't do anything to change that fact okay.
But sometimes, i can't take it. Your voice, your face, your actions, somehow pisses me off. I'm not saying i am not the one in fault. I KNOW YOU ARE WORRIED, but please, at least give me a chance to explain, and you don't freaking barge into the room and started blabbering like some naggy old hag.
IT'S IRRITATING. IRRITATING. IRRITATING!!!!!
YOU DON'T EVEN CARE
you didn't even bother to ask what was the reason behind it and there you are go blaming onto me. right, it's my fault for not putting on retainer, BUT FUCK, must you fucking compare me with her again?! Why is it always her?! what the fuck is with her got to do with this?!
how do you fucking know that she wears her retainers all the time. Wait, do you even know she fucking hates you at times?
the hell, i am so pissed off. I can't think rationally now, so i'm going to pour out everything. it's always been like this. when everything falls apart, the one you blame is me. You never blame her, and it's ALWAYS ME.
I don't get it. Am i such a disappointment to you to the extent of thinking that the bad ones are always on me? I can't stand it the fact that you're always this. You said you're fair, why the hell do you think it's fair? HOW FAIR CAN YOU GET TO?
You're someone close to me, in fact, you gave birth to me. I can't say anything since you're always saying you're right. I can't do anything to change that fact okay.
But sometimes, i can't take it. Your voice, your face, your actions, somehow pisses me off. I'm not saying i am not the one in fault. I KNOW YOU ARE WORRIED, but please, at least give me a chance to explain, and you don't freaking barge into the room and started blabbering like some naggy old hag.
IT'S IRRITATING. IRRITATING. IRRITATING!!!!!
you don't matter / Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 9:28 PM
WHAT THE HELL?
Stop pestering me. You know i will never get back to you. Seriously, just move on luh. I hate to say this but I just don't want this alright.
You don't know the problems about me.
Seriously, I can't believe you're so persistent. Rather than giving me the 'care', you're pestering me, like shit.
LIKE SHIT.
UGH, i was the one in wrong. As what goat said, I shouldn't have started this, and it's my responsibility.
I've apologized, and I've told you the reasons. Can you please just move on, even if you don't want to? I FEEL suffocated alright. And you're not me, stop acting like you know me. Sorry to say but I don't really want to let anybody really understand me. Until the day when I've decided to put down my past and move on.
Not that you'll see this.
As you said, nothing matters anymore.
YOU can find the purpose of life. I just hate it when people put everything into a relationship. Like, they really can't live without it. C'mon, there are people out there single as well alright. Live with it.
Ugh, I can't stand this. Sorry to say, but i find this kind of act really kind of immature.
WHAT THE HELL?
Stop pestering me. You know i will never get back to you. Seriously, just move on luh. I hate to say this but I just don't want this alright.
You don't know the problems about me.
Seriously, I can't believe you're so persistent. Rather than giving me the 'care', you're pestering me, like shit.
LIKE SHIT.
UGH, i was the one in wrong. As what goat said, I shouldn't have started this, and it's my responsibility.
I've apologized, and I've told you the reasons. Can you please just move on, even if you don't want to? I FEEL suffocated alright. And you're not me, stop acting like you know me. Sorry to say but I don't really want to let anybody really understand me. Until the day when I've decided to put down my past and move on.
Not that you'll see this.
As you said, nothing matters anymore.
YOU can find the purpose of life. I just hate it when people put everything into a relationship. Like, they really can't live without it. C'mon, there are people out there single as well alright. Live with it.
Ugh, I can't stand this. Sorry to say, but i find this kind of act really kind of immature.
let the picture do the speaking 2, / @ 3:04 AM
if you don't know, don't say. / @ 3:02 AM
WHAT IS THE HEADING?
WHAT IS THE HEADING?
going out tomorrow and i can't stand this anymore. All along, I don't really agree of typing my feelings out onto blog. I've changed link because didn't want people from all over to know what i'm typing. Giving link only to good friends.
So means, only good friends is knowing what happened.
Seriously, stop complaining about life. yes you. Seriously, are you that desperate for someone to come by? What's with the words? Come on, you're not the only one single in this world. Everybody live just to search for that someone. I'm sure that one will appear for you. I'm just not that one.
Don't believe in love, by all means go ahead. Because I don't really give a damn.
Stop putting my name all over, and announcing it to the whole world. That's just the thing I don't like about it.
Bluntly telling everybody out relationship.
I hate that. I HATE THAT.
Okay, but thats not the point that I break up with you. But seriously, I admit its my fault. Don't you think it hurts me? I'm just freaking not caring about it. What do you know about it. Nah, you know nothing.
You don't have the slightest fucking feeling how i felt because you can cry, I CAN'T.
Stop complaining.
let the picture do the speaking 1, / Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 12:54 PM
/off to school
/off to school
HORRIBLE TUESDAY / Tuesday, July 12, 2011 @ 4:24 PM
HORRIBLE TUESDAY.
That's why i hate tuesdays so much. Terrible day, with terrible faces. Lots of things happen. Lost, and crying.
Don't know what to do.
I'm active on tumblr, and find out my true emotions inside, if you care.
Whatever.
HORRIBLE TUESDAY.
That's why i hate tuesdays so much. Terrible day, with terrible faces. Lots of things happen. Lost, and crying.
Don't know what to do.
I'm active on tumblr, and find out my true emotions inside, if you care.
Whatever.
cover cover cover / Saturday, July 2, 2011 @ 10:58 PM
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT.
so, i did a cover of taylor swift's Love Story and posted it on youtube. SO FAR, it's only liek 14 views, and it is only last week. Can't believe i did that. OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOMGGOGMOGOMG. Maybe I was just desperate to debut as a singer so that I can FLY over to Japan and see my LOVELY SWEETIES. THE SIXTEEN OF THEM :D
Alright, skipping this part, let's talk about today. Wanted to do my work today, and realized that my mum wanted to do shopping after my dentist. So instead, we went shopping, and I never regret it because I bought new clothing and it's freaking nice 8D. i'm wearing it tomorrow :)
Oh, and plus the fact that in few more hours, bangkok is going to have their election so I hope nothing happen so that we can safely go Bangkok :)
I can't believe we're talking.
/end of rants
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT.
so, i did a cover of taylor swift's Love Story and posted it on youtube. SO FAR, it's only liek 14 views, and it is only last week. Can't believe i did that. OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOMGGOGMOGOMG. Maybe I was just desperate to debut as a singer so that I can FLY over to Japan and see my LOVELY SWEETIES. THE SIXTEEN OF THEM :D
Alright, skipping this part, let's talk about today. Wanted to do my work today, and realized that my mum wanted to do shopping after my dentist. So instead, we went shopping, and I never regret it because I bought new clothing and it's freaking nice 8D. i'm wearing it tomorrow :)
Oh, and plus the fact that in few more hours, bangkok is going to have their election so I hope nothing happen so that we can safely go Bangkok :)
I can't believe we're talking.
/end of rants
