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CHRISTABEL YAP
Nineteen. Currently residing in the Singapore. I enjoy jpop and anime. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but I'm a lot of fun.
@flavors.me
A little love I had for you remains. Whatever it meant to be disappeared,
should just go away. And now, all I wanted is actually his little attention to me.
Just a small little attention will do, show me that i am important to you.
just another day / too young to realise / belated birthday post + outing / happy birthday to the boy / outing with mum / outing / second last day / ..... / workkkk! / cny - day one /
July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 June 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 September 2012 October 2012 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 October 2013
COUNTDOWN / Wednesday, September 28, 2011 @ 11:47 PM
SIX MORE DAYS.
better hurry up.
SIX MORE DAYS.
better hurry up.
little words, / Saturday, September 24, 2011 @ 12:07 AM
LITTLE WORDS
forms the big words that are found.
Apparantly, it's 11 in the night for bangkok, and i'm going out tomorrow to MBK for shopping but i still don't feel like sleeping. I don't want to stay in my room, but I also don't want to leave my roommate alone. I want to go somewhere but I'm scared of hindering my other friends.
I need to learn to handle this.
LITTLE WORDS
forms the big words that are found.
Apparantly, it's 11 in the night for bangkok, and i'm going out tomorrow to MBK for shopping but i still don't feel like sleeping. I don't want to stay in my room, but I also don't want to leave my roommate alone. I want to go somewhere but I'm scared of hindering my other friends.
I need to learn to handle this.
bangkok trip diary nine, / Tuesday, September 20, 2011 @ 4:42 PM
AISHITERU
just wanna type it here.
AISHITERU
just wanna type it here.
bangkok trip diary eight, / Sunday, September 18, 2011 @ 4:24 PM
WHY.
I totally freaked out last night that I couldn't sleep at all. Cried silently as I heard weird sounds coming from outside of the room. My hands were shivering as I held onto his, and I practically let it go not wanting him to know it. I didn't do anything except trying to just to get to sleep in pitch darkness around me. That was the first time I felt really scared. They were as if some scary creature and I am one of their prey. I didn't bathe there too because I felt as though eyes were looking at me if I were strip. I was scared. So scared that I could just stone in my bed not wanting to get out at all. Even the fear lingered inside me till now even though I've left the place that is 2 hour ride journey.
WHY.
I totally freaked out last night that I couldn't sleep at all. Cried silently as I heard weird sounds coming from outside of the room. My hands were shivering as I held onto his, and I practically let it go not wanting him to know it. I didn't do anything except trying to just to get to sleep in pitch darkness around me. That was the first time I felt really scared. They were as if some scary creature and I am one of their prey. I didn't bathe there too because I felt as though eyes were looking at me if I were strip. I was scared. So scared that I could just stone in my bed not wanting to get out at all. Even the fear lingered inside me till now even though I've left the place that is 2 hour ride journey.
bangkok trip diary seven, / Friday, September 9, 2011 @ 5:44 PM
Pictures doing the talking,
Pictures doing the talking,
bangkok trip diary six, / Thursday, September 8, 2011 @ 2:20 PM
i'm scared,
i don't know what to do as me myself. I don't know what i should do so that i could make you happy. I don't know what i could do so that you would feel safe.
I don't know anything.
i'm scared that i'll rely too much on you and then end up hurting you once again.
i'm scared of everything
i don't have the courage, even though it doesn't seemed so.
i'm scared,
i don't know what to do as me myself. I don't know what i should do so that i could make you happy. I don't know what i could do so that you would feel safe.
I don't know anything.
i'm scared that i'll rely too much on you and then end up hurting you once again.
i'm scared of everything
i don't have the courage, even though it doesn't seemed so.
bangkok trip diary five (part two), / Saturday, September 3, 2011 @ 8:28 PM
I NEEDED YOU
that was my first thought when i knew that it's no longer it. I thought that you were just one little crush i had that i will have in life, but i was wrong. I was affected by you when you were with HER, i was affected by everything. I didn't know what to do. I don't know why that everybody teases me, but you just didn't seems to care.
I wanted you to make myself believe in this again.
I feel so hurt that i almost cry. I'm tired of my betrayal relationship. You know, my ex contacted me, and i suddenly started thinking of whatever things he did on me, and i will never imagine myself to be with another person ever again.
I can't meet your eyes because when I see them, I'm afraid. Your gaze are just so palpitating, and it made my heart skipped. You remember?
I remembered the 'us'. I remembered everything.
I know you're reading this too. I know that you know that I'm talking about you. I just wanted you to tell me about your feelings. I needed that verbal promise and assurance that you'll stand by me no matter what.
Everytime I see you, I have the urge to hug you. I know you cared for me, because on that day when you guys are playing till late at night, you were asking if we (the girls) wanted another room. I didn't want to think further, but you just probably didn't want me to share the same room to nap as the guys.
He asked why didn't we go back our room? Our reason was just wanting to stay, but my real reason because i wanted to treasure every moment that i could see you, that i could catch your attention with.
I miss you even though we're only like few miles away. I miss you even though i just see you hours ago. When you appeared, I just can't stop my eyes from looking at you.
this is cheesy, but i just wanted to catch every moment of you.
OMG, I DIDN'T JUST DO THAT. I WENT TO YOUR ROOM OUTSIDE, WANTED TO KNOCK THE DOOR, AND SUDDENLY I FELT SCARED AND I JUST WENT OFF. I STAYED THERE FOR LIKE... FIVE MINUTES?
i heard your cough, and somehow, i was just smiling to myself.
I NEEDED YOU
that was my first thought when i knew that it's no longer it. I thought that you were just one little crush i had that i will have in life, but i was wrong. I was affected by you when you were with HER, i was affected by everything. I didn't know what to do. I don't know why that everybody teases me, but you just didn't seems to care.
I wanted you to make myself believe in this again.
I feel so hurt that i almost cry. I'm tired of my betrayal relationship. You know, my ex contacted me, and i suddenly started thinking of whatever things he did on me, and i will never imagine myself to be with another person ever again.
I can't meet your eyes because when I see them, I'm afraid. Your gaze are just so palpitating, and it made my heart skipped. You remember?
I remembered the 'us'. I remembered everything.
I know you're reading this too. I know that you know that I'm talking about you. I just wanted you to tell me about your feelings. I needed that verbal promise and assurance that you'll stand by me no matter what.
Everytime I see you, I have the urge to hug you. I know you cared for me, because on that day when you guys are playing till late at night, you were asking if we (the girls) wanted another room. I didn't want to think further, but you just probably didn't want me to share the same room to nap as the guys.
He asked why didn't we go back our room? Our reason was just wanting to stay, but my real reason because i wanted to treasure every moment that i could see you, that i could catch your attention with.
I miss you even though we're only like few miles away. I miss you even though i just see you hours ago. When you appeared, I just can't stop my eyes from looking at you.
this is cheesy, but i just wanted to catch every moment of you.
OMG, I DIDN'T JUST DO THAT. I WENT TO YOUR ROOM OUTSIDE, WANTED TO KNOCK THE DOOR, AND SUDDENLY I FELT SCARED AND I JUST WENT OFF. I STAYED THERE FOR LIKE... FIVE MINUTES?
i heard your cough, and somehow, i was just smiling to myself.
bangkok trip diary five, / @ 8:07 PM
TELL ME
she asked me if i want or don't want. I didn't know what to say. half of me wants it, half of me doesn't wants it. i feel so terrible today, i feel so terrible yesterday. that few hours were like heaven to me, but then, i really, really didn't know what i should do anymore. everybody teased me, and i don't mind. BUT i feel like you don't give a damn about it, and that hurts me. It hurts me to see you, it hurts myself to look at you.
my bro told me that i always got distracted by you. i do, especially now that you're QUITE close with HER, i can't help it and feel so envious. I'm afraid. Afraid of falling in love, afraid of hurting people, afraid of setbacks, afraid of... everything. I need that someone to assure me it'll be fine, to assure me to make me believe, to assure me that, "Hey, it's not going to repeat," and assure me that, "He's worth it, for you to trust again,"
I know. I know that he's worth the trust, I want to trust him.
How about you? I don't know what you're thinking. I need you to tell me what're you thinking. I need you to.... help me through.
i need you.
TELL ME
she asked me if i want or don't want. I didn't know what to say. half of me wants it, half of me doesn't wants it. i feel so terrible today, i feel so terrible yesterday. that few hours were like heaven to me, but then, i really, really didn't know what i should do anymore. everybody teased me, and i don't mind. BUT i feel like you don't give a damn about it, and that hurts me. It hurts me to see you, it hurts myself to look at you.
my bro told me that i always got distracted by you. i do, especially now that you're QUITE close with HER, i can't help it and feel so envious. I'm afraid. Afraid of falling in love, afraid of hurting people, afraid of setbacks, afraid of... everything. I need that someone to assure me it'll be fine, to assure me to make me believe, to assure me that, "Hey, it's not going to repeat," and assure me that, "He's worth it, for you to trust again,"
I know. I know that he's worth the trust, I want to trust him.
How about you? I don't know what you're thinking. I need you to tell me what're you thinking. I need you to.... help me through.
i need you.
bangkok trip diary four (part two), / Friday, September 2, 2011 @ 5:51 PM
JUST WANNA SAY
JUST WANNA SAY
i can't believe i love you so much before and you're still so fucking childish.
please, get a life.
bangkok trip diary four, / @ 3:08 PM
felt different like any other day.
i dont want to do anything anymore. it felt so worthless.
maybe i'm just sensitive though.
SAVE ME
i need someone to save me, help me, bring me out of this shit.
please, anyone will do, i just need that hug i used to have.
i'm nobody strong, i'm just a girl, i also need someone to be by my side.
felt different like any other day.
i dont want to do anything anymore. it felt so worthless.
maybe i'm just sensitive though.
SAVE ME
i need someone to save me, help me, bring me out of this shit.
please, anyone will do, i just need that hug i used to have.
i'm nobody strong, i'm just a girl, i also need someone to be by my side.
bangkok trip diary three, / @ 12:34 AM
I CANT BELIEVE THIS.
i've been saying this for like the past few days but i still cant believe i'm saying this.
alright, back to the topic. it's late in the night, and i dont feel like sleeping because it's afternoon lesson tomorrow and plus the fact that my friends are all still wide awake and have no intention to sleep- except for the fact that my room mate is already fast asleep. Another thing is today lesson was quite fun and i've actually enjoyed it quite much.
some people are just pure inconsiderate but i don't want to go much into details of it. Marc was exceptionally humorous and miss sharon's lesson was fun only. oh, and another thing is bangkok university internet is like the fast only :D
although i got teased, i dont know why that the feeling from before have came back. i dont have the confidence to step forward, but something within me wants to.
they asked me questions and i asked myself, do you feel the same?
oh well, in the first place, i dont have the rights since the one who stupidly ended this was me.
i'm sorry,
I CANT BELIEVE THIS.
i've been saying this for like the past few days but i still cant believe i'm saying this.
alright, back to the topic. it's late in the night, and i dont feel like sleeping because it's afternoon lesson tomorrow and plus the fact that my friends are all still wide awake and have no intention to sleep- except for the fact that my room mate is already fast asleep. Another thing is today lesson was quite fun and i've actually enjoyed it quite much.
some people are just pure inconsiderate but i don't want to go much into details of it. Marc was exceptionally humorous and miss sharon's lesson was fun only. oh, and another thing is bangkok university internet is like the fast only :D
although i got teased, i dont know why that the feeling from before have came back. i dont have the confidence to step forward, but something within me wants to.
they asked me questions and i asked myself, do you feel the same?
oh well, in the first place, i dont have the rights since the one who stupidly ended this was me.
i'm sorry,
bangkok trip diary two, / Thursday, September 1, 2011 @ 1:28 AM
CAN'T BELIEVE IT
I thought you were noticing me, so I tried doing every slightest thing so that it could catch your attention. I was jealous when you were beside her. But I guess I can't do anything about it as I was the one that dump you, even though you really had like me.
Do you think it will work out even if we get back together?
All I can be sure is that it's no longer the same anymore. But I don't know why am I doing stupid moves when you only consider them as jokes and nothing else.
The reason I stayed so late was to see you for how long I wanted. The reason I didn't wanna share was because I didn't want you to misunderstand. I don't know your intention of separating us, but, your eyes showed concern somehow I guess... I dont know. I miss talking to you like we were so close.
But now i'm losing you to the others.
CAN'T BELIEVE IT
I thought you were noticing me, so I tried doing every slightest thing so that it could catch your attention. I was jealous when you were beside her. But I guess I can't do anything about it as I was the one that dump you, even though you really had like me.
Do you think it will work out even if we get back together?
All I can be sure is that it's no longer the same anymore. But I don't know why am I doing stupid moves when you only consider them as jokes and nothing else.
The reason I stayed so late was to see you for how long I wanted. The reason I didn't wanna share was because I didn't want you to misunderstand. I don't know your intention of separating us, but, your eyes showed concern somehow I guess... I dont know. I miss talking to you like we were so close.
But now i'm losing you to the others.
