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CHRISTABEL YAP
Nineteen. Currently residing in the Singapore. I enjoy jpop and anime. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but I'm a lot of fun.
@flavors.me
A little love I had for you remains. Whatever it meant to be disappeared,
should just go away. And now, all I wanted is actually his little attention to me.
Just a small little attention will do, show me that i am important to you.
just another day / too young to realise / belated birthday post + outing / happy birthday to the boy / outing with mum / outing / second last day / ..... / workkkk! / cny - day one /
July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 June 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 September 2012 October 2012 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 October 2013
one day when the sky is falling / Wednesday, June 27, 2012 @ 7:05 PM
Right next to you, nothing will ever come between us, I'll be standing right next to you, right next to you.
alone in a small room is always wonderful, and it's good to be thinking through of all the stuffs that's going through my mind. It settles my heart down.
If i'm at home, i can never have this time alone at all.
I like it here, i'm going to stay here longer.
Right next to you, nothing will ever come between us, I'll be standing right next to you, right next to you.
alone in a small room is always wonderful, and it's good to be thinking through of all the stuffs that's going through my mind. It settles my heart down.
If i'm at home, i can never have this time alone at all.
I like it here, i'm going to stay here longer.
happiness is hard to find / @ 12:50 PM
No matter how hard it is to find happiness, i will still be there
this Chinese song is stuck inside my head right now. I realize when I have mood swing, I just tend to keep blogging. I don't want to keep it inside me and at the same time, i don't have any close friend in my course to share.
when i woke up this morning, it felt like everything around me was black and white. Truthfully, I really wanted to skip school and escape reality, even if it's just for one day. But i can't, morning had an important lesson and afternoon have a submission to do.
when times like yesterday and today came, I always think alot. From my first relationship all the way to my third. I keep asking myself if it's me, or that it's them. I keep asking if is it me. I wondered why didn't they accept for who am i.
One of them told me that it was his fault. I didn't really care, I was so obsessed with them that all I wanted was for him to stay by my side. I was so in love with him, back then. Now I just keep thinking of the bad and good to feel for my current crush.
I don't know how he thinks of me. He didn't say anything about me. I feel so afar from him, so not beyond my reach. My friend told me it's normal, I know it's normal. But you will think that he doesn't belong to you only, but to others. Mum told me probably he is trying to keep a low profile or whatever, so I just nodded my head.
But one thing i didn't tell my mother was that i was really upset last night. I went home, listened to a song, and cried. imagine, a song, i cried. What?? so ridiculous.
MOOD SWINGS
I spent one night thinking and thinking, i could not find a solution, a solution of the best of both world.
I couldn't believe, I couldn't start to believe. I am so scared and afraid. They say we shouldn't be linking our past to our present, but then we will still have that fear inside of us.
You're not scared of dark, you're scared of what is in it
You're not afraid of height, you're scared of falling
You're not afraid of the people around you, you're just afraid of rejection
You're not afraid to love, you're just afraid of not being loved back
You're not afraid to let go, you're just afraid to accept the reality that he's gone
You're not afraid to try again, you're just afraid to get hurt for the same reason
i shall end this post off with the quotes above. Indeed, those quotes speaks my mind.
No matter how hard it is to find happiness, i will still be there
this Chinese song is stuck inside my head right now. I realize when I have mood swing, I just tend to keep blogging. I don't want to keep it inside me and at the same time, i don't have any close friend in my course to share.
when i woke up this morning, it felt like everything around me was black and white. Truthfully, I really wanted to skip school and escape reality, even if it's just for one day. But i can't, morning had an important lesson and afternoon have a submission to do.
when times like yesterday and today came, I always think alot. From my first relationship all the way to my third. I keep asking myself if it's me, or that it's them. I keep asking if is it me. I wondered why didn't they accept for who am i.
One of them told me that it was his fault. I didn't really care, I was so obsessed with them that all I wanted was for him to stay by my side. I was so in love with him, back then. Now I just keep thinking of the bad and good to feel for my current crush.
I don't know how he thinks of me. He didn't say anything about me. I feel so afar from him, so not beyond my reach. My friend told me it's normal, I know it's normal. But you will think that he doesn't belong to you only, but to others. Mum told me probably he is trying to keep a low profile or whatever, so I just nodded my head.
But one thing i didn't tell my mother was that i was really upset last night. I went home, listened to a song, and cried. imagine, a song, i cried. What?? so ridiculous.
MOOD SWINGS
I spent one night thinking and thinking, i could not find a solution, a solution of the best of both world.
I couldn't believe, I couldn't start to believe. I am so scared and afraid. They say we shouldn't be linking our past to our present, but then we will still have that fear inside of us.
You're not scared of dark, you're scared of what is in it
You're not afraid of height, you're scared of falling
You're not afraid of the people around you, you're just afraid of rejection
You're not afraid to love, you're just afraid of not being loved back
You're not afraid to let go, you're just afraid to accept the reality that he's gone
You're not afraid to try again, you're just afraid to get hurt for the same reason
i shall end this post off with the quotes above. Indeed, those quotes speaks my mind.
never the same / Tuesday, June 26, 2012 @ 11:36 PM
What was I thinking?
What am I hoping?
What am I seeking?
One side of me told myself to release the past, hope for a future. The other one is telling me that no matter what, don't hurt yourself.
which side should i be believing?
It's like so electrifying, and so pain and it is so terrible.
we're like two world apart. why do i feel that you're so far away from me, so not beyond my reach? What am i fearing inside me?
it was like a dream. I keep staring at it, and it feels like a dream. I am so scared to accept it as a reality, i am so scared to accept it like...
no. i am scared of myself. I am scared of facing it. I am scared of approaching it, i am scared of the feelings inside me. just thinking of it makes me want to cry, and my heart is clenching so hard that my chest hurts so much.
FRIENDZONED?
Am i? I don't know what i should be doing right now. I am just typing this blog, while everything is flooding inside my head. i can't do anything right now, nothing is beyond my reach, nothing.
when your face flashes inside my head, it hurts so much. why is it hurting? why am i hurting? why am i so confused when the matter comes to you?
who are you to me? no, you don't belong to me, but why am i so nervous when it comes to you?
if i just ignore these feelings, just few months later i will fall for you. i dont want it to be like this. i am always leaving it neutral. however, i dont want to fall either, it hurts to be the one on the one side yet the other cant be seen anywhere.
i am leaving, this terrible feeling is going nowhere. i don't know what should i do anymore.
someone, help me.
What was I thinking?
What am I hoping?
What am I seeking?
One side of me told myself to release the past, hope for a future. The other one is telling me that no matter what, don't hurt yourself.
which side should i be believing?
It's like so electrifying, and so pain and it is so terrible.
we're like two world apart. why do i feel that you're so far away from me, so not beyond my reach? What am i fearing inside me?
it was like a dream. I keep staring at it, and it feels like a dream. I am so scared to accept it as a reality, i am so scared to accept it like...
no. i am scared of myself. I am scared of facing it. I am scared of approaching it, i am scared of the feelings inside me. just thinking of it makes me want to cry, and my heart is clenching so hard that my chest hurts so much.
FRIENDZONED?
Am i? I don't know what i should be doing right now. I am just typing this blog, while everything is flooding inside my head. i can't do anything right now, nothing is beyond my reach, nothing.
when your face flashes inside my head, it hurts so much. why is it hurting? why am i hurting? why am i so confused when the matter comes to you?
who are you to me? no, you don't belong to me, but why am i so nervous when it comes to you?
if i just ignore these feelings, just few months later i will fall for you. i dont want it to be like this. i am always leaving it neutral. however, i dont want to fall either, it hurts to be the one on the one side yet the other cant be seen anywhere.
i am leaving, this terrible feeling is going nowhere. i don't know what should i do anymore.
someone, help me.
NP VOICES CAMP! / Thursday, June 21, 2012 @ 8:55 PM
HELL AWESOME THREE DAYS TWO NIGHT :)
I was hoping it will be longer, but it's okay ^^
Anyway, so many things happened there and I don't know which to start with. Firstly, the camp was awesome~
first day had some bonding games with our own group, before proceeding to have the voices group bonding. The people were high and everybody seems to have a good time there. I was laughing alot there. Then did some water games(but its not really water games) and then we had nightwalk, which kind of freaked me out totally at the end.
Beatrice took me out of the room and i started to cry even more. Oh my gosh, i must be like so scared. I didn't expect myself to cry tbh. It's just everything came in a rush and suddenly i was crying. I called my mother and told her about it and then i talked to her about eyecandy.
Then second day did quite a few more stuffs. games in the morning as usual, and then amazing race. Tiring but fun as well :) when we crossed the road at a point of time, and i was like 'finally~!'
anyway, back to the topic, we went back to the school and then had dinner and such before we went to do our performance and whatnot. :) after that we went to the boys room and did jamming till like 4 am odd before the guard heard our noise and told us to go back to our own room. After that, i went to sleep and woke up the next morning. had a bathe and then lepak in school for awhile more before going home
Sparks fly, it's like electricity, i might die~
HELL AWESOME THREE DAYS TWO NIGHT :)
I was hoping it will be longer, but it's okay ^^
Anyway, so many things happened there and I don't know which to start with. Firstly, the camp was awesome~
first day had some bonding games with our own group, before proceeding to have the voices group bonding. The people were high and everybody seems to have a good time there. I was laughing alot there. Then did some water games(but its not really water games) and then we had nightwalk, which kind of freaked me out totally at the end.
Beatrice took me out of the room and i started to cry even more. Oh my gosh, i must be like so scared. I didn't expect myself to cry tbh. It's just everything came in a rush and suddenly i was crying. I called my mother and told her about it and then i talked to her about eyecandy.
Then second day did quite a few more stuffs. games in the morning as usual, and then amazing race. Tiring but fun as well :) when we crossed the road at a point of time, and i was like 'finally~!'
anyway, back to the topic, we went back to the school and then had dinner and such before we went to do our performance and whatnot. :) after that we went to the boys room and did jamming till like 4 am odd before the guard heard our noise and told us to go back to our own room. After that, i went to sleep and woke up the next morning. had a bathe and then lepak in school for awhile more before going home
Sparks fly, it's like electricity, i might die~
eyecandy / Friday, June 15, 2012 @ 11:46 PM
EYECANDY. EYECANDY. EYECANDYYYYYY.
EYECANDY. EYECANDY. EYECANDYYYYYY.
EYECANDY BID ME GOODBYE.
I AM A HAPPY GIRL :D
