you're the one for me >> Navigate with the arrow near the title above. ![]() CHRISTABEL YAP Nineteen. Currently residing in the Singapore. I enjoy jpop and anime. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but I'm a lot of fun. @flavors.me A little love I had for you remains. Whatever it meant to be disappeared, should just go away. And now, all I wanted is actually his little attention to me. Just a small little attention will do, show me that i am important to you. NP VOICES CAMP! / eyecandy / I thought that I've forgotten you, but yet, I stil... / appreciation / It's a war. / -- / list of actors/actress i loved (out of JE) / oh-eighteen / birthday party / - / |
never the same / Tuesday, June 26, 2012 @ 11:36 PM
What was I thinking? What am I hoping? What am I seeking? One side of me told myself to release the past, hope for a future. The other one is telling me that no matter what, don't hurt yourself. which side should i be believing? It's like so electrifying, and so pain and it is so terrible. we're like two world apart. why do i feel that you're so far away from me, so not beyond my reach? What am i fearing inside me? it was like a dream. I keep staring at it, and it feels like a dream. I am so scared to accept it as a reality, i am so scared to accept it like... no. i am scared of myself. I am scared of facing it. I am scared of approaching it, i am scared of the feelings inside me. just thinking of it makes me want to cry, and my heart is clenching so hard that my chest hurts so much. FRIENDZONED? Am i? I don't know what i should be doing right now. I am just typing this blog, while everything is flooding inside my head. i can't do anything right now, nothing is beyond my reach, nothing. when your face flashes inside my head, it hurts so much. why is it hurting? why am i hurting? why am i so confused when the matter comes to you? who are you to me? no, you don't belong to me, but why am i so nervous when it comes to you? if i just ignore these feelings, just few months later i will fall for you. i dont want it to be like this. i am always leaving it neutral. however, i dont want to fall either, it hurts to be the one on the one side yet the other cant be seen anywhere. i am leaving, this terrible feeling is going nowhere. i don't know what should i do anymore. someone, help me. |